areolas are like halos for boobs.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My vagina is officially offended.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
