So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Where are you guys?
Drunk
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
