So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
