Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Enjoy the penises
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
