just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
