I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
