So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
