I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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