so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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