Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
