Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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