Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
