she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
