just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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