but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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