Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
