well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
