doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
