Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up under a house in Key West
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