Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
