It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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