Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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