Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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