A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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