I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Enjoy the penises
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
