a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
thus making me awesome and them whores
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have feelings that need drinking.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
