I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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