I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
