I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
