ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
