Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
