i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
