I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
