Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
