What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
