Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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