so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
