I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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