Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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