Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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