drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it because I queefed?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
