I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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