Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
