Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
