oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
