Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
