I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
