hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Let's get the cat blown out
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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