I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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