My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
