Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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