He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
