This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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