So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
