Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
